The Urge to Control: Understanding Resistance and Embracing Balance
- Laura Brigger
- Apr 5, 2024
- 2 min read
Updated: Jun 24, 2025
by Brex
As human beings, we have a natural tendency to seek control over our surroundings, especially when faced with situations or individuals whose energy disrupts our sense of peace and balance. In this blog post, we'll explore the underlying reasons behind our desire to control others' behavior and how resistance manifests in various forms. We'll also delve into the concept of balance and how embracing neutrality can alleviate the need for control.

The Nature of Control: When confronted with negative energy or disruptive behavior, our instinctive response is often to exert control in an attempt to restore harmony and regain a sense of control over our environment. Whether it's a crying baby, a partner's tantrum, or any other source of discomfort, our desire to control stems from a deep-seated aversion to anything that disrupts our inner peace.
Identifying Resistance: Resistance manifests in various forms, from outright attempts to manipulate or dominate others to more subtle forms of control, such as passive-aggressive behavior or avoidance. It arises from a place of fear and discomfort, as we seek to protect ourselves from the perceived threat posed by external factors or individuals whose energy clashes with our own.
Breaking Down Resistance: Resistance can take many forms, each rooted in the desire to avoid or mitigate unpleasant emotions. Some common manifestations of resistance include:
Denial: Refusing to acknowledge or accept the reality of a situation, especially when it triggers uncomfortable emotions.
Projection: Projecting our own insecurities or fears onto others, blaming them for the discomfort we feel within ourselves.
Avoidance: Avoiding confrontation or difficult conversations in an effort to maintain the status quo and avoid conflict.
Control: Attempting to exert control over others' behavior or circumstances to alleviate our own discomfort and restore a sense of security.
Embracing Balance and Neutrality: Instead of succumbing to the urge to control, we can choose to embrace balance and neutrality in our interactions with others. This involves acknowledging and accepting the full spectrum of emotions, both positive and negative, without judgment or resistance. By allowing ourselves to experience discomfort without seeking to suppress or control it, we create space for growth and transformation.
Finding Peace in Acceptance: When we release the need to control others and surrender to the flow of life, we find peace in acceptance. Rather than viewing discomfort as a threat, we see it as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. By embracing balance and neutrality, we empower ourselves to navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience, knowing that true peace comes from within.

The urge to control others is rooted in resistance to discomfort and a desire to maintain a sense of security and stability. By recognizing and breaking down resistance in its various forms, we can free ourselves from the need to control and instead embrace balance and neutrality in our interactions with others. In doing so, we cultivate a deeper sense of peace and acceptance, allowing us to navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience.
🔒 Static Takeaway for Readers: What we try to fix in others is often what we resist feeling in ourselves.” —Brex





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